President Thomas Whitmore: I don’t understand, where does all this come from? How do you get funding for something like this?
Julius Levinson: You don’t actually think they spend $20,000.00 on a hammer, $30,000.00 on a toilet seat do you?

David Levinson: We’re hit! We took a hit!
Captain Steven Hiller: We’re not hit! We’re not hit! Stop side-seat driving!
David Levinson: Left! Left! Tunnel! Tunnel! Exit! Exit! Left!
Captain Steven Hiller: Where the hell do you think I’m going?
David Levinson: Ok, ok We’re we’re we’re uh…
David Levinson: Uh oh they’re closing up on us… they’re closing…
Captain Steven Hiller: Shut up, shut up, shut up!
David Levinson: Must go faster. Must go faster! Must go faster! Go, go, go, go!
Captain Steven Hiller: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Captain Steven Hiller: Oh! Elvis has left the building!
David Levinson: Oh, thank you very much. Oh, I love you man!

Captain Steven Hiller: That’s what you get! Ha Ha! Look at you! Ya ship’s all banged up!
Captain Steven Hiller: Who’s the man? Huh? Who’s the man? Wait till I get another plane! I’m a line ya friends up right beside you! Where ya at, huh? Where ya at?
Captain Steven Hiller: Welcome to earth.

Julius Levinson: If I had known I was gonna meet the president I would’ve worn a tie. Look at me, I look like a schliemiel.

Gen. Gray: Are you all right?
President Thomas Whitmore: I saw… its thoughts. I saw what they’re planning to do. They’re like locusts. They’re moving from planet to planet… their whole civilization. After they’ve consumed every natural resource they move on… and we’re next. Nuke ‘em. Let’s nuke the bastards.