Season 2

Acceptance [2.1]

Assistant: You can’t go in there.
Dr. House: Who are you? And why are you wearing a tie?
Assistant: I’m Dr. Cuddy’s new assistant. Can I tell her what it’s regarding?
Dr. House: Yes! I would like to know why she gets a secretary and I don’t.
Assistant: I’m her assistant, not her secretary. I graduated from Rutgers.
Dr. House: Hmm… I didn’t know they had a secretarial school. Well, I hope you took some classes in sexual harassment law. Does the word “ka-ching” mean anything to you? I’m going in now.

Dr. House: You met me at a strip club.
Stacy: You were the worst two dollars I ever spent.

Dr. House: Death row guy. I want the case.
Dr. Cuddy: How do you even know about him? You don’t have access to the hospital’s mainframe.
Dr. House: No, but “partypants” does.
Dr. Cuddy: You stole my password?
Dr. House: Hardly counts as stealing; it’s a pretty obvious choice.

Dr. House: Well, I don’t want to say anything bad about another doctor, especially a useless drunk.
Dr. Cuddy: You’re addicted to pain pills.
Dr. House: But I’m not useless.